You Dress Like a Christmas Tree
by Nymbis
Summary: Zahi tries to have a normal conversation, but alas! He can only speak in sexy catch phrases! What happens when he runs into a certain Prince of the Night? Lighthearted Zahi x Stanton and not meant to be taken seriously.


**You Dress Like a Christmas Tree**

_Summary: _Zahi tries to have a normal conversation- but alas! He can only speak in sexy catch phrases! What happens when he runs into a certain Prince of the Night? Light-hearted Zahi x Stanton and not meant to be taken seriously.

**Shameless promotion: **I've started an odd pairing challenge for those fanfic writers who would be interested- check out my forum for more info!

**AN: **This is an idea I had when re-reading book two, and I found that Zahi's lines were sometimes quite…well, silly. Then a wicked, evil, preposterous thought came into my head- what if Zahi's oh-so seductive dialog was directed at someone other than Serena? What if it was directed at a certain Prince of the Night…;) this is the first fic with this pairing, so I hope you enjoy it lol. It's kind of like "Fun With Real Audio" for those of you who watch _SNL._

And yes, all of Zahi's dialog lines and _one _(you'll know which one) of Stanton's are taken from the second book _Into the Cold Fire_ which belongs solely to the fantabulous Lynne Ewing.

This is short. And kind of stupid. OOC warning.

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_Ah, hello there! I see you've come to me for a story. Well, I have just the one! It's a story of a sorta love…or maybe just raging hormones, and needless angst, about a smooth-talking Frenchman and a melodramatic Prince. Can they overcome the obstacles of oddly timed pick-up lines? Only the plot line can tell._

_Achem, once upon a time, there was a pretty, pretty Prince…_

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Stanton sighed melodramatically as he leaned seductively against a brick wall, the light wind playing with his beautiful and sheeny locks so they fell angstily over his eyes. This had become a standard routine, to stand somewhere randomly and angst in an extremely sexy way and attract girls who would have no chance in hell with him. It was fun. Well as much fun as someone who was damned from eternity with both handsome features and a terrible destiny could have. Stanton sighed wistfully, oh, if only some understanding, yet edgy girl could give him comfort now in his toil…

He was broken away from his musings when he heard heavy footsteps coming towards him. He exhaled morosely; he knew that sound too well. It could only be one thing, a flock of fangirls.

Now, Stanton wasn't one to be self-appreciative, but really, enough was enough. It wasn't _his _fault that his taunting physical descriptions conjured up the mental imagery of sex dynamite, now was it? Noooooo. These fangirls just had to get the clue sooner or later-

"What are you doing? Daydreaming? I'm glad you were, it gave me a chance to catch up to you." Came a melodic, sexy voice of…a dude?

Stanton's inner torment immediately ceased as his eyes snapped up. He was meet with the equally pretty…er…manly rugged face of his biggest rival, Zahi. His face paled when he noticed that the sound of the heavy footsteps belonged to him, not to a horde of hormonally-driven teenagers.

"What! Zahi! The hell!" Stanton exclaimed, immediately stopping his sexy leaning and straightening up, almost face planting.

"You seem upset, is something bothering you?" Zahi asked, stepping closer and tipping his head in a suave concern.

"But! You! Why? Is this some sort of attack!" Stanton demanded, getting into macho defense mode, he then paused, "Why the hell do you care if something's bothering me?"

Zahi shrugged, and a mystical wind played through his also equally sheeny locks, "Maybe you would like to talk to me about it, no? You will feel better if you do." He nodded his head knowingly.

Stanton found himself feeling slightly uncomfortable, "Why the hell are you talking to me?"

Zahi lowered his voice and Stanton immediately recognized it as the seductive-bad-boy™ tone, "You looked very good. More than good."

Stanton blanched and broke into a cold sweat, "Uh, err, um, huh!"

The dark haired boy stared at him, as if reconsidering something "Your mind seems empty tonight."

Stanton said nothing, only opening and closing his mouth like a fish and letting out a strangled noise that sounded something like, "NERFARMAGOG!"

Zahi's face brightened at the sound, "I like the way you laugh." He exclaimed dreamily.

"That wasn't laughter!" Stanton proclaimed, regaining the knowledge of how to articulate.

The older boy let a hand trail down the side of Stanton's face, in response to his touch, Stanton's face screwed into some type of horrible, horrible grimace, "Do you always smile so much? It is as if you have a big secret."

Oh, the blond was _fuming _now, "It's not a-!"

But Zahi cut him off as he pressed a finger to his lips, "Tell them to me." He commanded, his eyes bulging slightly.

"Are **you **on **crack**!"

The Frenchman let out a laugh, "Don't worry. We don't need drugs for thrills. We'll enjoy a greater energy. I promise."

That was the final straw; Stanton could only tolerate innuendo up to a certain point. He quickly shoved Zahi away and took a few steps from him, "Ew! Ew! Ewie! Gross!" He cried, jumping up and down like a sissy and trying frantically to remove the 'cooties'.

Zahi's seductive-bad-boy™ voice left and he looked at him forlornly, "Do you find me at all interesting?"

Stanton gaped at him incredulously.

He pouted, "Or maybe you belong to a very serious religious group? One that does not allow you to talk to boys?"

Stanton just stared at him, watching the angst of rejection starting to settle over Zahi's pret- ruggedly manly features. The day, which had been previously sunny and bright, began to cloud over as a solitary beam of light shined on Zahi alone through the accumulating darkness.

Zahi walked over and touched Stanton's watch, "What's this?" He asked in torment, "A gift from another boy perhaps?"

Stanton shifted from foot to foot uneasily, desperately trying to tell himself that the soft and new sensual light scheme did _nothing_ for Zahi's _fabulous _physique.

A sob emitted from Zahi as he swooned in unrivaled sorrow, "All this week I've been trying to get you to invite me to your house and so far I have had no luck."

Stanton paused, mulling something over in his mind, "Your pointless angst…is a lot like _my _pointless angst…"

Zahi nodded in agreement enthusiastically, "It drew me to you as if you were calling me. It is quite lovely."

"Well," Said Stanton bashfully, pawing at the road in shyness with his toe, "My tormented inner soul does what it can…"

"It is your deep emotion that I hear," Said Zahi sagely.

"Really?" Stanton's first reaction of disgust was quickly melting away with the showering of compliments bestowed on his melodrama. That, and, now he could admit that the soft and sensual light scheme was, in fact, doing _wonders_ for Zahi's _fabulous _physique.

"You have class and style that show you think for yourself." Zahi proclaimed, striking a devilishly villainous pose.

Stanton fingered the hem of his standard-issue, all-black, Fruit of the Loom ensemble, "You think?" There was a blush starting to creep up the sides of his face.

"That is why I wanted to meet you. You dress like a Christmas tree. I'm an artist. I love color and style. Look down the alleyway—" At this Zahi gestured to the various tourists that walked passed the street, all clad in Hawaiian prints, "You would think they were winter birds, would you not? All black and gray and navy blue. You are from a tropical paradise."

Stanton's fanboy-ish attitude was dispelled for a moment as he once again glanced over his _all **black **_Fruit of the Loom ensemble, "Zahi, are you by any chance color blind?"

"Make me proud. Live with me for eternity." Zahi blurted out of nowhere.

"Uh, hum, awkward." Stanton muttered scratching the back of his neck and slowly backing away once again, "Look, Zahi, I have this schtick, y'know? About commitment and what not, it's just…it's just not 'me.'" He was silent for a moment as he tried to avoid the coffee-brown eyes that were now glistening like a morning's sunrise, "I mean, I'm _way _too much of a sexual deviant to stay with one person-"

"Temptress," Zahi said, smiling wickedly.

Stanton choked slightly, before recovering, "So I just don't see how it could work out-"

"You look beautiful."

"Heh," The Prince of the Night stated awkwardly, somehow feeling slightly flattered. He was called sexy, hawt, and handsome, but _never _beautiful. It kind of made him feel like giggling. Angsty giggling, of course.

"No calming down tonight," Zahi said, trying for the dangerously!sexy! approach.

"Well…"

"It should be a very romantic night. The moon will be full," He supplied instead.

Despite the fact that full moons tended to sear his eyeballs in blinding pain, Stanton found himself entranced by Zahi's oh-so smexy dialog. "I suppose it couldn't hurt, but-"

"Please?" Zahi pouted, looking like an adorable puppy. "Promise yourself to me?"

He sighed, "Oh fine, what the hell. One date."

Zahi grinned and immediately grabbed the Prince, whisking them off into the sunset.

**Later…**

"Is that what you wear to bed? I had expected something more edgy."

**OOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

_And that, my dear children, is how Stanton, the pretty and sexually deviant Prince of the Night,quickly dispelled his fan**girls**._

!nym!


End file.
